Deep Thoughts

 
Deep Thoughts (For those who take life way too seriously…) You know who you are!!
 
 
 
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
 
2. A day without sunshine is like…. Night.
 
3. On the other hand… you have different fingers
 
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
 
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
 
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
 
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
 
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
 
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
 
10. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
 
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
 
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
 
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
 
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
 
15. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
 
16. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
 
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
 
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
 
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
 
20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
 
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
 
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
 
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
 
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
 
25. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
 
26. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright. Until you hear them speak.
 
 
And so I leave you with one last thought:
 
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.

Now my brain hurts!!!

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6 Responses to Deep Thoughts

  1. Xu says:

    The attitude is somewhat like Gafield,right?
    I sometimes take life too seriously,hehe.
    Joke or waeseling is needed in life.

  2. Harold says:

    LOL  funny.. heard a few before but a couple were new !!
     
    Myth busters are CRAZY !!!!!  1 thing u r guarennteed is something gonna get blown up or destroyed by the end of the show.. LOL
     
    Hmmmm  Fav capt. huh ??  hard to say.. either Zig on the Northwestern or Phil on the Cornelias Marie

  3. Jude says:

    Hehehehe, my kinda deep thoughts!!!!! LOLHave a great day and catch ya at game time! 🙂

  4. Sue says:

    Stupendous!  It feels strange to laugh outloud so early in the morning!  Love the Early Bird one—how true!  And all those ocean sponges gives one pause…Mucho thanks for the jocularity!!!

  5. Jean says:

    Good ones! Where’s the picture of Bert?? Anxiously waiting my shipment..maybe today!
    hugs,
    Jean

  6. Jude says:

     
    I have a funny youtube video for you to watch prior to tonight’s game 😉
     
    See ya soon 🙂

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