Pleez don’t tell our dad!!   It’s his 3 dogs, Buzz, Bonnie and Baxter.  Bert would be here too but he’s outside doing nasty turtle things to some sorta planter!!  Ewww!!!   If dad knew we were using his computer he would be very upset so please don’t tell him, OK?  I, Buzz, am typing this. Not because I’m the smartest but because I have the hugest thumbs!!
So anyhow, we have a few issues with dad, and mom, and although they don’t know it, we know what they do on the computer and where their friends are.  HERE!!! 
The first complaint comes from Bonnie (my little bitch of a sister!)
‘Alright fat-boy!!  Back off before I kick your lazy butt AGAIN!!!  My complaint is about the frickin’ lack of ball-playing time I get!!  The idiots keep buying them but dad refuses to get his lazy ass up to actually THROW them to me!!  That’s right… ME!!   Cause these stupid brothers of mine couldn’t catch a cold!!!  I consider all toys brought into this house as MINE!!  I just need a little more action from lard-ass!!  I’ve about had it!!!’
Wow!!  Bonnie seems a little testy tonight.  Baxter is hiding in the corner so I guess I’ll go next, if Bonnie will quit gnawing on my leg!
‘I don’t really have a complaint (Bonnie put us up to this!) but here’s something that does annoy me.  FOOD!!!  Just not enough!!  I could use ALOT more!!  Plus Bonnie steals mine which I don’t think is very fair!  Am I not right??  Oh sure, I get fed in the morning and at night but it’s that crappy dry food and he’s always slipping things into it like heartworm pills and other crap!  Little does he know that I spit them out and there’s a huge pile of them under the fridge.  Woof Woof!!!  I guess I’m saying that I need more treats during the day and maybe a pig’s ear chew more often than once a month!!  Hmmm, Guess I DID have a complaint!’
Here comes Baxter so I guess he’s ready to bare his little doggy soul.  But he has to hurry before mom and dad show up!
‘Ummm….. hi  I’m Baxter!  I’m kinda shy and don’t talk (bark) alot but my real complaint is not with mommy and daddy but with these two here!!!  My so-called brother and sister!!  They are bullies and are always picking on me!!  They won’t share the toys with me, steal my treats, and if I hadn’t learned to eat really fast, they would steal my food too!!  No wonder I spend half of the day hiding under the bedsheets!!  So I guess that’s about it!  Here’s Big Bro Buzz!’
OK!!  We just heard the car pull up so we have to go!!  I just wanted to add that we have finally gotten used to that weird creature they call Bert, and Bonnie has stopped chewing on his face!  Thanks for letting us have a doggy vent!!   BONNIE!!!!  Knock that off!!!!!!
We’ll be back!!   Shhhhhh!!!!!!
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21 Responses to Shhhhhh!!!

  1. Cindy says:

    Awww! too cute!
    I hope everyone is having a great week!

  2. Laoch says:

    Remarkably nice dogs! 

  3. EbonyWyvernDragon says:

    Thanks – cried my way through the song – I’m praying for you as hard as I can.

  4. Kat says:

    Awww *scritches* for the poor abused doggies!!!
    Poop in his shoes==thats my advice! 

  5. ♥ Aimee says:

     what cuties…
    *~* :o) smiles are contagious… :o) so pass one on … :o) soon the whole world will be smiling… :o) *~*

  6. CAROL says:

    TOO TOO funny.. oh boy I would love to hear BURT’s take on all this.. I bet his story could fill a book!! HAH..not a bad idea. i mean a lost turtle who resufaces and falls in love with a planter.. LMAO.. too good!  : ) 

  7. Stephanie says:

    I like HapKat’s idea, just don’t tell your Mom and Dad I said that!
    My cats wanted to know why you just don’t figure out some way to climb up to where the doggy treats are. I had to explain to them that doggies don’t climb!  They said that they will come visit and get the doggy treats for you… then you can hide them and have some any time you want!
    Now, Buzz and Bonnie, quit pickin on Baxter, or Lisa’s gonna give you lots of kisses when we visit, and you know how she is with kisses… she doesn’t stop!!! (Ask our cats, they run when they see her!) LOL BIG HUGS, Steph

  8. Steve says:

    Ok boys and girls, I hear you and I feel for you.  It sounds that if you trade off some of your good and bad things you may work as a team.  Sit, or lie down, and relax.    Calmly talk, bark, among yourselves calmly and perhaps you may be able top solve all of the issues that you all may have.  When you agree that you can work together bark real loud, one bark, Woooof, one time all at the same time.  Dad will wonder why is going on. 

  9. Angie says:

    Boy oh Boy! Good thing the female is ruling the roost!!!! Hurry kiddo’s ….. I hope that you keep up the attitude, and yes, stick together….keep tugging on those pant legs of your pappa daddy, and hopefully with new grass…your puppy paws will be super happy fetching the balls. (I hear that your dad bought the "launcher" to really throw that ball far!) Keep bugging him. Maybe he’ll learn huh? 

  10. Stephen says:

     Think you are all barking mad!!!!!! If you hide there slippers they will get peed off with you so then they will take you outdoors & throw the ball for you!! Be patient doggy friends take care yap yap xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  11. Jane says:

    Just be glad they haven’t brought home any cats!!  Then you’d have something to complain about. 

  12. ZePp says:

     Tsk tsk.. on both you kids n our owners.
    U kids shouldnt comendeer daddys computer… U never know what you will find on there !!!
    So be safe and good… dont look thru daddies cookie file    ( NO those are not where they hide doggie treats.. so just forget that idea !! ).. or his history file.  Then maybe daddy will take you all out for ball play more often.
    Now Daddy… U know you should turn off your computer when ur not around !!
    Thanks for the barks !!!!
    Peace kiddies.. now be good

  13. Jude says:

    Hehehehehehehehehe – too funny Bob!  I mean, Buzz, Bonnie and Baxter ;-)Hope all is well with your master, little ones!  Tell him I had a wonderful time in the US and spent lots of my hard earned money while I was there.Pass along the message that we’ll have to chat again one day soon 🙂

  14. Gina says:

    LOL  LOL  LOL  :o)

  15. ~Special K~ says:

    Okay, think I’m all caught up on catching up. Wow. First, how impressive that you have dogs who can type! I can’t even get mine to say "love you" and I’ve been trying for two years. Just looked at the pictures of your yard… very nice! Love the story about Bert. How cool to have a pet tortoise! Good news about Dell techs, since my laptop is a Dell (and my desk pc is a compaq, hmm) and you never know when I might need tech help. AND… super good news about your feet! Wish the same thing could be said about mine (inflamed achilles tendon), but exercise makes it worse.Anyway… nice to be back, have missed reading here.hugs and loveKim

  16. Beth says:

    The dogs are adorable. 

  17. Jess says:

    Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha. You silly dogs ! 
    P.S. I hope you don’t get grounded for this ! 

  18. Raven says:

    Typing dogs?!?  That can’t be, dogs don’t have opposable thumbs, although with the ability to lick, well…just about anywhere they feel like licking, who really needs thumbs?
    You are a sick man Bob, that must be why we get along so well!

  19. Twila says:

    Ok kids, time to run and hide.  Well, time to get to your respective cuddle soft beds anyway.  Quick before mom & dad get in the door!  Now shush.  And if Bert tells on ya’, we’ll just shove him back under the house and forget he’s there.  🙂 

  20. LORI says:

     LOL. Awwww. I love animals.

  21. Sanne says:

     You are such a riot!

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