OUCH!!

Guess it’s gonna take a few days to get used to the new teeth.  I’m pretty sure it’s a matter of my mouth getting used them but I woke up this morning in pain.  But I put them in and wore them all day and the pain sorta went away.  I’m able to eat, so I guess it’s getting better.  Next Tuesday at the dentist there will be some HUGE adjustments made!  lol
 
Our temps dropped 20 degrees today!  MUCH better!  February is WAY to early for 85!  Hopefully more rain soon.
 
Wanted to watch a DVD tonight ( Live Free, or Die Hard) but Mrs S is out cold!  Her job has been VERY stressful lately.  I try to help but there’s only so much I can do. 
 
Anyhow, here is tonight’s 4 year-old email!  It’s a little raunchy but really funny!! 
 
Also, I have continued with the Beatles theme, although I did slip Ted Nugent song in this afternoon for my friend Kat!!  HaphazardKat that is!!
 
Enjoy the rest of your week.
 
 
 
Diary of a Viagra Housewife
 

Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to
celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he
locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

 
Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he
says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he
tell me something I don’t know! I mean, he actually thinks I
haven’t noticed.

 
Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw
a picture of Nelson’s Column and burst into tears.

 
Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that
will fix his problem.’ It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he
takes Viagra, things would be just like they were on our wedding
night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the
Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5.
What absolute bliss!!.

 
Day 6.
Isn’t life wonderful, but it’s difficult to write while he’s doing
that.

 
Day 7.
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended!
Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a
Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to
admit it’s very nice – I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.

 
Day 8.
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday,instead of
mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker.
I’m also getting a bit sore down there.

 
Day 9.
No time to write. He might catch me.

 
Day 10.
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so
much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down
with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over….

 

Day 11.
I’m basically being screwed to death. It’s like living with a
Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the
bed. Even my armpits hurt. He’s a complete pig.

 
Day 12.
I wish he was gay. I’ve stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my
teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even
yawning has become dangerous …

 
Day 13.
Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like
going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he
tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I’ll kill the bastard.

 
Day 14.
I’ve done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even
started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more
horny. Help me.

 
Day 15.
I think I’ll have to kill him. I’m starting to stick to
everything I sit on. The cat and dog won’t go near him and our
friends don’t come over any more. Last night I told him to go and
f**k himself and he did.

 
Day 16.
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the
bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the
Viagra and going back on Prozac.

 
Day 17.
Switched the pills but it doesn’t seem to have made any
difference……Christ !!! here he comes again.

 
Day 18.
He’s back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in
front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and
expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!!.

 
 
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13 Responses to OUCH!!

  1. CAROL says:

    HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO YOU AND MRS> S>>> HAVE FUN!!  : )

  2. jenna says:

    I like that diary,,funny.

  3. Laoch says:

    Good teeth luck

  4. Beth says:

    Too funny!!!!
    Give your dentist he**.

  5. Sue says:

    Ouch on the teeth. Hope you get that fixed so that it doesn’t hurt.  The email was funny!

  6. Ice says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day!
    ~Ice

  7. renay says:

    it’ll take at least almost six months for you to get use to your dentures.

  8. nodope says:

     
    Hope you and the Mrs. have a very happy Valentine’s day!

  9. Cindy says:

    Happy Valentines Day!!

  10. Kat says:

    Happy Valentines Day, Bob-a-roo!!
    I saw that movie in the theater. It was a good one! Had lots of action and funny moments 😀
    Bummer on the chompers hurting you. 😦

  11. Gina says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day Bob!  Hope you’ve had a LOVE-ly day!  :o)

  12. Jude says:

    Hope you’re feeling better soon 🙂

  13. Jamie says:

    LMAO I am still on the floor laughing.  I know exactly how she feels sometimes even without have the Viagra in play.   I love the Die Hard movies.   I thought this one was just as good if not better than the originals.   Hope your teeth get to feeling better soon.   HUGS!!!!

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