I Have WINGS!!!!!

I woke up this morning (after sleeping in, of course!) and the first thing Mrs S said was "I Want Buffalo Wings TODAY!!)  Wooo Hoooo!!!    Not sure where that came from but I was quick to respond!!  After all, 5lbs of chicken wings will easily last thru my Daytona NASCAR race tomorrow!  So off I went to buy the wings  and of course, ‘Frank’s Original Red Hot’ sauce!!  Now I usually buy the Original sauce but to my surprise, they had ‘Frank’s Buffalo Wing Sauce’!!   So I thought what the Hey!!   WOW!!!   Even better!  It has a little ‘kick’ to it but it is really good!  Actually a LOT of kick!  So in the future, maybe half and half!  I’m munching on them now and trying to keep my keyboard clean!
 
 
Today is the day that our gardeners come to mow the front yard, and after having it sodded this summer, I didn’t trust myself to do the best job.  But these 2 guys go above and beyond!!  They mow in a different direction each week, which makes the grass happy, happy!!  But lately they have pruned our roses, weeded around the roses, fertilized the lawn and flowers, and today they noticed some clover growing in the grass, so they took care of that too!!  They even used their blower this to clean the dust off of Mrs S’ car!!  I LOVE these guys!!  Why can’t Maytag (that’s M-A-Y-T-A-G!!)  be more like them???
 
More Beatles, yet again, tonight!  The Beatles will be gone soon!!  As much as I love the Beatles, I am looking forward to having Country music back on my space!  But this time I will intersperse it with some Classic Rock!!   I’m starting to go through ‘Country Music’ withdrawls……..!! LOL
 
OK!  I admit it!!  I’m racing through these Beatles songs!!  I MUST have COUNTRY on my space!!  So here is the LAST Beatles song!! 
 
OK!!  Maybe one more tomorrow!!  Coo Coo Chachoo!!!!! LOL
 
 
Here is today’s OLD email!!  It’s a little kinky but VERY funny!!  I hope I still have my Space tomorrow!!
 
Cybersex Session
 
 
This is a transcript of an actual cybersex session. As all of you are well aware, computers are often used to engage in cybersex. Details and fantasies are typed into the computer to be instantly transmitted over then Internet.  Sometimes these harmless fantasies become fairly raunchy. This is not the case with the following transcript of an actual on-line cybersex session. Either this guy is clueless or has the greatest sense of humor known to mankind.

 

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? 

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed.I workout everyday.My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? 

Wellhung: I’m 6’3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I’m also wearing an old T-shirt, it’s got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny. 

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw
me? 

Wellhung: OK 

Sweetheart: We’re in my bedroom. There’s soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand.
I look up into your eyes and I’m smiling.My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge. 

Wellhung: I’m gulping. I’m beginning to sweat. 

Sweetheart: I’m pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
 

Wellhung: Now, I’m unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling. 

Sweetheart: I’m moaning softly. 

Wellhung: I’m taking hold of your blouse and I’m sliding it softly off. 

Sweetheart: I’m throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off of my warm body. I’m rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling. 

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your blouse. I’m sorry.

 
Sweetheart: That’s, OK. It wasn’t really too expensive. 

Wellhung: I’ll pay for it. 

Sweetheart: Don’t worry about it! I’m wearing a lacy black bra, my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder. 

Wellhung: I’m fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it’s stuck. Do you have scissors? 

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you. 

Wellhung: How did you do that? I’m picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. 

Sweetheart: I’m arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue all over me. 

Wellhung: I’m dropping the bra. Now I’m licking your, you know,breasts. They’re neat! 

Sweetheart: I’m running my fingers through your hair. Now I’m nibbling your ear. 

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. 

Sweetheart: WHAT? 

Wellhung: I’m so sorry. Really. 

Sweetheart: I’m wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my blouse. 

Wellhung: I’m taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the corner of the room. 

Sweetheart: OK. I’m pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool. 

Wellhung: I’m screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee! 

Sweetheart: I’m pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. 

Wellhung: I’m pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second. 

Sweetheart: What’s the matter? 

Wellhung: I’ve got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I’m choking. 

Sweetheart: Are you OK? 

Wellhung: I’m having a coughing fit. I’m turning all red. 

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help? 

Wellhung: I’m running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?? 

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink 

Wellhung: I’m drinking a cup of water. There that’s better. 

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. 

Wellhung: I’m washing the cup now. 

Sweetheart: I’m aching for you lover. 

Wellhung: Now I’m drying the cup. I’m putting it back in the cabinet. And now I’m walking back to the bedroom. Wait it’s dark, I’m lost. Where is the bedroom? 

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. 

Wellhung: I found it. 

Sweetheart: I’m tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
 

Wellhung: Me too. 

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each other. 

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don’t you take your glasses off? 


 
 Wellhung: OK. But I can’t see very well. I’m placing my glasses on the nightstand. 

Sweetheart: I’m bending over the bed. Give it to me baby! 

Wellhung: I have to pee. I’m fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom 

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover. 

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it’s dark. I’m feeling around for the toilet and lift the lid. 

Sweetheart: I’m waiting eagerly for your return. 

Wellhung: I’m done going. I’m feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-oh! 


Sweetheart: What’s the matter now? 

Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I’m walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way. 

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on. 

Wellhung: Now I’m going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,! woman’s thing. 

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it! 

Wellhung: I’m touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma’am, I’m having a little problem here. 

Sweetheart: I’m moving my ass back and forth. I can’t wait another second. Slide it in! Screw me! 

Wellhung: I’m flaccid. 

Sweetheart: WHAT? 

Wellhung: I’m limp. I can’t sustain an erection. 

Sweetheart: I’m standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. 

Wellhung: I’m shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener is all floppy. I’m looking for my glasses to see what the problem is. 

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I’m getting dressed, I’m putting on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse. 

Wellhung: No wait. I can’t find the night table. I’m reaching across the dresser,knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your candles. 

Sweetheart: I’m buttoning my blouse. I’m putting on my shoes. 

Wellhung: Now I’ve found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I’m pointing at it with a shocked look on my face. 

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I’m logging off, LOSER! 

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

 
 
 
 
 
 
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11 Responses to I Have WINGS!!!!!

  1. Beth says:

    Did you say Roses are blooming.  Oh, I hate winter.

  2. Jane says:

    That is too funny!
    I can’t believe you bought a new kind of Frank’s.  You really live on the edge, Bob!  I hope 5 pounds were enough.  Do I sound a bit bitter?  That might be becaues I don’t remember when I last SAW my lawn.  I would gladly mow it myself if the #&%* snow would vamoose!

  3. Angie says:

    OMG BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    I can’t breath now! THat is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! LOL!!!! OMG!
     
    Sanks for the much needed long ass heart stopping giggles!

  4. xEOD says:

    Shupe told me this was a funny one!  She lied.  It was hilarious.It may have slipped your attention, but I’m sick with some respiratory thing, and I just about choked to my death reading this and laughing.  So, from now on you’re going to have to start co-ordinating with me on these kinds of blogs.  We just can’t have that kind of rampant funniness out there for anyone to just fall in to sideways.  That, my friend is a liability you don’t want a piece of…ya know?Good job, though!  I know funny, and that was funny!

  5. CAROL says:

    LMAO.. too good BOB.. I sure hope MSN thinks so too!!  :- S   LAwn mowing.. now I am depressed again.. And I thought spring would be great.. (sigh)  : )   

  6. Kat says:

    Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!’
    Damn that was funny!!

  7. KatSoup says:

    He lost me when he got snot on my boobs.  When she was pulling up her skirt, I imagined it around her ankles.  She took more than I would.
     
    Speakers off this morning.  Ill just have to imagine.  (okay imagine it is)  I made anytizer wings for VD they suked.  I’m sure yours will be better.
     
    I would love to have sod & a yard boy.
     
    TTFN~

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