Valentines Day Love Poem – Redneck Style

Collards are green,
my dog’s name is Blue
and I’m so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flappin in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some’a yore teeth
for which I am proud.
I hold my head high
when we’re in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I’m in hawg heaven
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo’re there fer yore man,
to patch up life’s troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo’re as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete.
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin’
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin’.

Me "n" you’s like a moon pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for a Valentine’s Day,
they git it at Wal-Mart,
it’s romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Krogers,
that’s impressive, I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever",
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these just won’t do.
Cause yo’re too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds….

Now wasn’t that just too romantic??


I read this in the newspaper today.  Just a little freakish!!

Accident Cut Her To The Quick

A Utah woman listed in the Guinness Book of World records for her long fingernails has lost them in a car crash.

Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City sustained serious but non-life-threatening injuries in the accident Tuesday.

Redmond’s nails, which hadn’t been cut since 1979, were broken in the crash.  According to the Guinness website, her nails measured  a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches.

I assume that she wasn’t very ‘handy’ with a keyboard….. or a mouse!  Sheesh!!


I hope you liked yesterday’s ‘Love’ song.  Today is ‘One More Day’ by Diamond Rio .  I wish you all  a Wonderful, Romantic weekend.

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17 Responses to Valentines Day Love Poem – Redneck Style

  1. Grandma's says:

    LOL….that is just the sweetest, most romantic love poem !! Hope you will be buying your Becky something a little more romantic than a "troll ‘n motor".I’m surprised that lady could even drive a car with fingernails that long….there are some mighty strange folks out there.Thank you for the Diamond Rio song "One More Day"….I do love that one (hint, hint).Hope you and Becky have a wonderfully Romantic Valentines Day…chocolates, hearts, flowers etc, etc.Hubby and I get to babysit the grandkids so’s the young’uns can go out for a romantic dinner. So I don’t think we will be doing much romancing unless you call changing diapers and cleaning spit up romantic LOL.Have a great weekend(((Hugs)))

  2. .. says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYo’re as cute as a junebug a-buzzin’ overhead. … hahahahahasorry cannnot talk anymore hahahahahahajust killer………… alex x

  3. Jude says:

    Thank god the redneck I know lives next door now! ROFLMFAOHope you have a good weekend, dude 😉

  4. Twila says:

    LOL! How sweet is that?! And those nails? OMG! Can’t imagine how she could even turn the key to start the engine of a car let alone drive it! Obviously she couldn’t. Or maybe she shouldn’t have been…..Happpy Valentines Day to you & Becky. Ya’all treat her well now, ya’ hear? 🙂

  5. renay says:

    have a happy valetines day

  6. Grandma's says:

    Do you play song requests on your blog? I heard a great one on the radio today and thought…wow…Bob should play that on his blog tomorrow…..Johnny Reed (Reid)… " A Woman Like You". You could dedicate to your lovely wife Becky. I wouldn’t mind hearing myself again too….our country radio station listeners up here picked this song as the #1 Love Song for Valentines Day.

  7. Beth says:

    Very nice!!

  8. Babblelot says:

    I posted that po-um last year. I saw it tacked up on the peg board at the post office the other day. heh.

  9. Duckie says:

    I know the sentiment of that song so very well.

  10. Louise says:

    Mwah, Happy Valentine Bob xxx

  11. Sanjana says:

    hey there BobHappy Valentines day!!!!

  12. Sue says:

    I can’t imagine how one could live with nails that long! Boy, would have liked to see pictures of that….too freaky. Great love poem! Big thanks fer sharin’ it, Bob! Hope you will visit me and read the poem I put out for all. You and Becky have a fun Valentines Day!

  13. Jade says:

    HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!I love the poem 😀

  14. Grandma's says:

    thinking of you and….:*~*:.♥.:*~*:.♥.:*~*:.♥.:*~*:……Happy Valentine’s Day!……:*~*:.♥.:*~*:.♥.:*~*:.♥.:*~*:.♥~♥ sending you my love today! ♥~♥

  15. Jaysey says:

    Poem = funnyfinger nail story = ewww!!!

  16. CAROL says:

    I saw that lady on ELLEN.. those are creepy . ELLEN asked her how she WIPED her heinie…. I mean you know that must be hard with those things. They were outrageous and just a stunt to make herself known. She had to have things done for her like washing and her hair, dressing.. no way she could do anything they were longgggggggggg. UGH.

  17. Joe says:

    Wait, wait, I got one: The roses are wilted the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head LOL! Not like I live in hicksville!

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