Lead-Up To The Flatts Concert

First off, as you can see, I FINALLY got my music back!!  So you KNOW what will be playing on this space for awhile.  2 days until the concert and since the tickets were free, my wife rented a limo!

Anyhow, I thought it would be fitting to post some of Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck jokes, so here goes!


You Might Be A Redneck If….

You’ve ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.

You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.

There is a stuffed ‘possum mounted anywhere in your home.

You’ve ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.

You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather than hem them.

You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks so good on your sister.

Your junior-senior prom had a day-care center.

You own a denim leisure suit.

Directions to your house include “turn off the paved road.”

You know how many bales of hay your car holds.

You’ve ever used a Weed Eater indoors.

You’ve ever been kicked out of the KKK for being a “bigot.”

Your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and nobody notices.

You use your mailbox to hold up one end of your clothesline.

During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere hat fell off.

You think baseball players don’t scratch enough.

Hail hits your house and you have to take it to a body shop for an estimate.

You have a tattoo that says “Mother” and it’s spelled wrong.

and last but not least… Your family tree does not fork.

That’s all I got….. for now!!!!

Have  great rest of the week

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12 Responses to Lead-Up To The Flatts Concert

  1. Dana says:

    Hmmm I have some of those issues and I can add some more that really are true (my dad was from Oklahoma)10. You nail your christmas tree to the floor because the tree stand from last year was used for an oil change 9. You duct tape black plastic to the inside of the truck so the kids will have a swimming pool 8. You let Uncle Bubby come to visit you only at night because he has a warrant out on him7. Your dad’s birthing story starts out "Daddy was in jail for making moonshine whiskey when I was born."6. Birthing story ends "I didn’t need no hospital, hell I was born in a chicken coop"5. On getting a big tax return your daddy contemplates moving back to Oklahoma to start a "worm farm"4. You’ve been kicked out of the neighboring small town cuz at one time you might have hit a policeman in the head with a beer bottle.3. "Please" is not a polite way of asking for anything, it’s just a form of begging.2. A car can at anytime be fixed with 3 things ; pantyhose, duct tape and a garden hose1. Your daddy gets a part of his finger cut off and your mother cries because it would have been more money from the insurance company if it had been cut below the knuckle.Yup… all true

  2. Beth says:

    Have a wonderful time!!! Glad you got your music back.Hugs,Beth

  3. Jude says:

    Free tickets…..yup, that’s NOT what happened to me! LOLI know a lot of rednecks, believe me – far too many for my liking, actually, but what can you do when you live in the prairies! heheHope you’re doing well 🙂

  4. Kat says:

    oh mannnn goin in style!! You’re gonna have so much fun 🙂

  5. Cindy says:

    Thanks for the giggle…. Have a great time at the concert.

  6. Joe says:

    Always good for a laugh my friend!

  7. bamacatlover says:

    Good jokes, good music, so glad you got your music back, bamacatlover

  8. CAROL says:

    Funny BOb.. stopping by to say hello been too long.. will try to visit more often but things here have gotten complicated..Hope the weather is nice for your concert.. Who cares if it aintI know yu wil be happy : )

  9. Twila says:

    LOL! Thanks for the morning laughs Bob! I gotta’ say I like Dana’s list better though. Probably because they’re all so true and some from both lists sounds like my dad! 🙂 Gonna’ have Kaeden for a whole week! Spring break for him, but obviously not for me! 🙂 AAAHHHHH!Have a great weekend and enjoy your concert. I’m sure you will!

  10. KatSoup says:

    HEY !!!~~~Directions to your house include “turn off the paved road. There ain’t no shame in itThat Becky, too bad she is married. I could get used to a wife like her.Also from Dana’s, haha. My dad moved to Florida and started a worm farm. They all ran away, (true story)

  11. bamacatlover says:

    Stopping by for a laugh, and the song is a Winner. Have a good weekend and enjoy the concert..

  12. Ms Noanie says:

    Have a great time at the concert!!!Peace

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