Lead-Up To The Flatts Concert

First off, as you can see, I FINALLY got my music back!!  So you KNOW what will be playing on this space for awhile.  2 days until the concert and since the tickets were free, my wife rented a limo!

Anyhow, I thought it would be fitting to post some of Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck jokes, so here goes!

 

You Might Be A Redneck If….

You’ve ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.

You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.

There is a stuffed ‘possum mounted anywhere in your home.

You’ve ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.

You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather than hem them.

You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks so good on your sister.

Your junior-senior prom had a day-care center.

You own a denim leisure suit.

Directions to your house include “turn off the paved road.”

You know how many bales of hay your car holds.

You’ve ever used a Weed Eater indoors.

You’ve ever been kicked out of the KKK for being a “bigot.”

Your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and nobody notices.

You use your mailbox to hold up one end of your clothesline.

During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere hat fell off.

You think baseball players don’t scratch enough.

Hail hits your house and you have to take it to a body shop for an estimate.

You have a tattoo that says “Mother” and it’s spelled wrong.

and last but not least… Your family tree does not fork.

That’s all I got….. for now!!!!

Have  great rest of the week