— When someone says, "Believe me, you don’t want to know," it makes you want to know that much more.
— Beer summit? How about a margarita summit?
— Los Angeles doesn’t really have rude waiters, just dispirited ones.
— And for some reason, that’s worse.
— The best healthcare plan is a sweaty workout, five days a week.
— The best therapy: funny friends with short memories.
— If you want a kid to listen, whisper.
— If you want a kid to read, read yourself.
— "It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." (Drew Carey)
— A telling trait among summer sports: None of them
— baseball, golf, tennis — features referee whistles.
— One of the most important things a parent can learn is how to say no effectively.
— My wife says no all the time. Very effectively.
— World’s biggest health club: the California coast.
— "There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." (Will Rogers)
— Designer dogs? We used to call them mutts.
— I wonder who they’d send if I ever got seized by North Korea.
— Téa Leoni? Just a suggestion.
— In August, the male body is about 80% beer.
— Like Elvis, Michael Jackson will be bigger dead than alive.
— Like computers, TV remote controls should have "undo" buttons.
— Oh, God, I know who they’d send for me: Brent Musburger
— Why does it suddenly seem like today’s top actors are all furry and animated?
— If Lorne Michaels is so brilliant, how come "SNL" has been awful for most of its 387 years?
— Most days, I’d rather have a sandwich than a steak.
— Hey! I’m furry and animated!
— Most nights, the best show on TV will be a rerun.
— When someone says, "That’s going to come back to bite us," I always think, "Hmmmm . . . at least I have that to look forward to."
— Best summer sound: a creaky cabin door.
— Best summer treat: the ice cream left at the bottom of a root beer float.
— Just how furry am I? Believe me, you don’t want to know.
— Long as I live, I’ll never be able to tell a heron from an egret.
— "Your picture’s in my wallet, and I’m sitting on it. And if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is." (Larry Linville, as Frank Burns, on "MASH")
I’m Just sayin’…..
In "The Crow and the Pitcher," Aesop wrote of a thirsty bird confronted with a half-full pitcher of water. When the bird discovered that the water level was too low to reach, he dropped stones in to raise the level until it was high enough to quench his thirst.
The results, reported this week in the journal Current Biology, are not totally unexpected: Crows have previously been shown to use leaves and sticks as probes to dig out grubs, and shells and rocks as hammers to break open prey or as plugs to form pools of water for drinking.
Bird and his colleague Nathan Emery of Queen Mary University of London tested four 5-year-old, hand-raised rooks, confronting them with the flask and a pile of stones. Two immediately figured out how to get the worm, and two got it on the second try.
The only other animals known to have accomplished a similar feat are orangutans, which have been shown to carry water in their mouths to fill a pitcher so they can reach a floating peanut. But the rooks’ feat is more impressive, Bird argued, because their brains are much smaller than those of orangutans.
One of the rooks also displayed a different type of learning ability: When she got sick from eating one of the wax worms, she stopped participating in the experiments.