My Dog Ate My……

Dentures??  Well, Bonnie didn’t actually ‘eat’ them but…
My first mistake was to wear them to bed but I was tired and figured, what the heck.  In the middle of the night I woke up and the dentures really hurt so I removed the upper ones and laid them on the nightstand…. My second mistake.
A few hours later I wake up to the sound of crunching and there is Bonnie on the nightstand chewing on them.  I grabbed them from her (they looked OK) and placed them in a drawer.
Mistake #3.  I pull the dentures out from the drawer and lay them on the SAME nightstand as I get dressed, but I have to use the bathroom.  When I return, the dentures are missing and Bonnie is lying at the edge of the bed looking down.  I feel around under the bed a locate them.  They still look perfect so I clean them and put them in.  No problem!  This was two weeks ago.
This past Sunday I take them out for cleaning and notice a 1" X 1/2" crescent-shaped crack.  I touched it and the piece fell off.  At this point I made mistake number four… I tried to fix them myself.  When will I learn?  I first tried Superglue but I couldn’t get it to flow. 
Mistake #5…  I used this stuff call Gorilla Glue.  Now I don’t know if any of you have used this but it’s super strong, waterproof and glues just about anything.  The one drawback?  It expands to 4 times of the amount you apply.  What a mess!!!  Glue everywhere!  I never did manage to get that piece attached but I was able to cover the denture, my fingers and oh yeah… Somehow when I sat the bottle down, I glued my wife’s laptop to her desk (since rescued from the Gorilla’s clutches).
So there I was.  It’s Sunday, ribs are grilling, Monday is Labor Day and when I call my dentist on Tuesday he tells me that he has surgeries all day.  So I eat yogurt, soup and bananas for 3 days.
Early Wednesday I go to my dentist’s office and once he gets off the floor and finishes laughing his A$$ off, he says wait right here.  He returns 20 minutes later and informs me that he was able to remove all of the glue.  He asked me what kind of glue I used and when I told him he said, "Oh no, you should have used Superglue"!  Sheesh!  He told me that he was sending it to a lab and they would rebuild the denture and I would have it back the same day! 
I then nervously approached the receptionist and asked her how much I would owe ($3000?), and she said, "Oh, I’ve aleady billed your insurance company.  You owe nothing!".  Not even a deductible!!! (AETNA). 
Five hours later I had my dentures back!  I looked at them closely and couldn’t tell where the break was.  He said because they added an extra, thin coating of resin.  They also replaced one of the teeth!
Anyhow, I think I learned a lesson because my glasses broke today and I took them right in rather than use Gorilla glue.
Happy camper here!
Tomorrow just about starts the weekend!!  Have a Good one!
New song… Finally:
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11 Responses to My Dog Ate My……

  1. john says:

    glasses…important things….help see location of dentures.Epoxy and dremel works real good on dentures.

  2. Jade says:

    LOL!!! gorilla glue is like that spray foam insulation!!!I’m confused I thought you had all kinds of surgery installing permanent ones.

  3. Adrian says:


  4. john says:

    gorilla glue conjures up images of King Kong sitting on the empire sate building working on your dentures…monkey around?

  5. Babblelot says:

    Best keep teeth in mouth. Your story did make me chuckle I admit. Awe gees now the glasses?I do wish you a happy weekend my friend!

  6. Happy says:

    Just visiting. I know this was inconvenient and I worry about dental bills too. But this hilarious telling of tale! Thank you for good fun.

  7. Sue says:

    Never a dull moment, huh, Bob?!!! That’ll be a story your dentist will use for YEARS. I’m glad your Gorilla glue didn’t work—I think that would be too toxic to put in your mouth!!! You should ask your dentist if they have a buy-one-get-one-free deal…same with the glasses! I shudder just thinking of the day something happens to my glasses!!!! Have a great weekend and eat MEAT!

  8. Lori BJ says:

    i am not looking forward to getting mine – but i do continue to make the list of donts before i get them.

  9. Twila says:

    ROFLMAO! OMG!! How funny! Read this to hubby. We both laughed so hard the tears flowed! What a funny story! Thanks for the morning chuckles with my coffee Bob. You’re the best! Just wondering though….does Bonnie even ‘look’ at your dentures now?

  10. J W says:

    You’ll have to excuse me for laughing until I cried while reading this post. Reminded me of some of my super blunders. Yep, Gorilla glue lives up to it’s name. I keep it hidden from my wife. Good luck with the specks.J.W.L.

  11. Gina says:

    Oh Bob…. you big galoot! I could tell you hundreds of similar stories – the things that happen to dentures (and the things their owners try to do to them) never cease to amaze me – or crack me UP. :o) Dogs LOVE them though. Valuable lesson learned, huh?

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