Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed.I workout everyday.My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I’m 6’3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I’m also wearing an old T-shirt, it’s got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw
me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We’re in my bedroom. There’s soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand.
I look up into your eyes and I’m smiling.My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I’m gulping. I’m beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I’m pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now, I’m unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I’m moaning softly.
Wellhung: I’m taking hold of your blouse and I’m sliding it softly off.
Sweetheart: I’m throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off of my warm body. I’m rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your blouse. I’m sorry.
Sweetheart: That’s, OK. It wasn’t really too expensive.
Wellhung: I’ll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don’t worry about it! I’m wearing a lacy black bra, my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.
Wellhung: I’m fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it’s stuck. Do you have scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I’m picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I’m arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I’m dropping the bra. Now I’m licking your, you know,breasts. They’re neat!
Sweetheart: I’m running my fingers through your hair. Now I’m nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I’m so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I’m wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I’m taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the corner of the room.
Sweetheart: OK. I’m pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I’m screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!
Sweetheart: I’m pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I’m pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.
Sweetheart: What’s the matter?
Wellhung: I’ve got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I’m choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I’m having a coughing fit. I’m turning all red.
Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
Wellhung: I’m running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink
Wellhung: I’m drinking a cup of water. There that’s better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I’m washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I’m aching for you lover.
Wellhung: Now I’m drying the cup. I’m putting it back in the cabinet. And now I’m walking back to the bedroom. Wait it’s dark, I’m lost. Where is the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I’m tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don’t you take your glasses off?
Sweetheart: I’m bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I’m fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom
Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it’s dark. I’m feeling around for the toilet and lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I’m waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I’m done going. I’m feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What’s the matter now?
Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I’m walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: Now I’m going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,! woman’s thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I’m touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma’am, I’m having a little problem here.
Sweetheart: I’m moving my ass back and forth. I can’t wait another second. Slide it in! Screw me!
Wellhung: I’m flaccid.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I’m limp. I can’t sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I’m standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I’m shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener is all floppy. I’m looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.
Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I’m getting dressed, I’m putting on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait. I can’t find the night table. I’m reaching across the dresser,knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I’m buttoning my blouse. I’m putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: Now I’ve found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I’m pointing at it with a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell! I’m logging off, LOSER!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!
Did you say Roses are blooming. Oh, I hate winter.
That is too funny!
I can’t believe you bought a new kind of Frank’s. You really live on the edge, Bob! I hope 5 pounds were enough. Do I sound a bit bitter? That might be becaues I don’t remember when I last SAW my lawn. I would gladly mow it myself if the #&%* snow would vamoose!
OMG BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t breath now! THat is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! LOL!!!! OMG!
Sanks for the much needed long ass heart stopping giggles!
Shupe told me this was a funny one! She lied. It was hilarious.It may have slipped your attention, but I’m sick with some respiratory thing, and I just about choked to my death reading this and laughing. So, from now on you’re going to have to start co-ordinating with me on these kinds of blogs. We just can’t have that kind of rampant funniness out there for anyone to just fall in to sideways. That, my friend is a liability you don’t want a piece of…ya know?Good job, though! I know funny, and that was funny!
LMAO.. too good BOB.. I sure hope MSN thinks so too!! :- S LAwn mowing.. now I am depressed again.. And I thought spring would be great.. (sigh) : )
Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!’
Damn that was funny!!
He lost me when he got snot on my boobs. When she was pulling up her skirt, I imagined it around her ankles. She took more than I would.
Speakers off this morning. Ill just have to imagine. (okay imagine it is) I made anytizer wings for VD they suked. I’m sure yours will be better.
I would love to have sod & a yard boy.
TTFN~
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