Valentines Day Love Poem – Redneck Style

Collards are green,
my dog’s name is Blue
and I’m so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

 
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flappin in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

 
Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

 
You have some’a yore teeth
for which I am proud.
I hold my head high
when we’re in a crowd.

 
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I’m in hawg heaven
and awed by yore charms.

 
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

 
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo’re there fer yore man,
to patch up life’s troubles
and fix what you can.

 
Yo’re as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

 
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

 
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete.
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

 
Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin’
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin’.

 
Me "n" you’s like a moon pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for a Valentine’s Day,
they git it at Wal-Mart,
it’s romantic that way.

 
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Krogers,
that’s impressive, I say.

 
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever",
they explain, suave and couth.

 
But for this man, honey,
these just won’t do.
Cause yo’re too special,
you sweet thang you.

 
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds….
IT’S A NEW TROLL’N MOTOR!!!

Now wasn’t that just too romantic??

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I read this in the newspaper today.  Just a little freakish!!

Accident Cut Her To The Quick

A Utah woman listed in the Guinness Book of World records for her long fingernails has lost them in a car crash.

Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City sustained serious but non-life-threatening injuries in the accident Tuesday.

Redmond’s nails, which hadn’t been cut since 1979, were broken in the crash.  According to the Guinness website, her nails measured  a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches.

I assume that she wasn’t very ‘handy’ with a keyboard….. or a mouse!  Sheesh!!

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I hope you liked yesterday’s ‘Love’ song.  Today is ‘One More Day’ by Diamond Rio .  I wish you all  a Wonderful, Romantic weekend.